Yuki, Jonathan, Jennifer Alexia or Avanindra (avanindra) wrote,
Yuki, Jonathan, Jennifer Alexia or Avanindra

(&%@#@ day ever.

So, today, of all days, had to the the crappiest one in a long time.

Dad's car got broken into, radio and what ever is gone also.
My water bottle leaked into my technology bag, all my electronics got wet, ruined my hand outs and ruined my text book.

Ok day at work, both of them. Too tired to study but I tried to get it done.

Come home, the "conversation between my mom, moves off topic from, the car because of my bad reputation and past, they don't believe me, to I dont give a flip about the house, I can't communicate with my dad, I still harbor hatred for the family, where I dont have goals to know worth of a shit of what I want to do with my life."

My defenses about everthing

The car, totally not my fault, Acura Integra, one of the HIGHEST theft and EASY target cars for anything, despite stealing a in dash radio or entire engine and transmission.

Bad reputation, don't give a flip, i've changed
The house, I live on a day by day basis.
I don't see the reason why they want to remodel the house when they're going to put all the cluttered crap back in front of it. They said they would do and deal with that first. Not my clutter, not my problem.

Can't communicate and harbor hatred, they rejected 1/2 of my personality. That is my calm, serenity, inspiration, inner strength, stability. my other half is logic, outer strength, perseverance, shield. They can not live without the other because they keep each other in check.

Calm/serenity <-> logic
inspiration <-> perseverance
Inner and outer strength
shield <-> stability

my logic can go overboard, but me being too calm makes too many logical mistakes
I inspire myself due to what I don't let bother me, but in turn, if I just give up cause I have other things to look up too and not finish whats the point.
Mind and body go in one. Can't have the mentality to think you look good if you don't keep yourself physically set where you want to be.
I can take a lot of crap but with out the balance it will be returned in unhealthy doses. In turn, If I dont protect myself, I can throw my own stability off.

I can't predict my future if I don't take care of whats happening now. I live day by day... not even concerned with Thursday. Apparently to my mom, I'm a lost person and I dont know what i'm doing.

i don't really care if someone thinks as this as selfish, nor the point I didn't have time to cool off. I've been collective the entire day.

Now, feel like I betrayed someone cause of something, great... now my emotions are everywhere, I dont know what to think and i've lost a whole 1 1/2 hours on study.... great.......
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